“How did I sleep? I slept like a baby! I slept for two hours, woke up and cried, then slept for another two hours and did the same thing. I did that all night.”
John McCain, American war hero, Republican Politician and Candidate for President in 2008. 1936-2018
As we get into December and progress from Thanksgiving to Christmas, many of us will be spending a little more time than usual with family, which is our email quote theme of the month.
Many of us will be very happy about this family time – some of us less so!
As 2024 winds down, my wife and I won’t be seeing much of our extended family, with the notable exception of my oldest daughter, Isabelle, who moved to Dallas a few months ago with her husband, Alex, and one-year-old daughter Mila (one of those 2023 names, I guess!).
Ah, grandchildren… We only have one, but we’ve got a good one! I do love my daughter very much, but someone did recently tell me that grandchildren were God’s reward for not killing your children. I have to say, that did get a chuckle out of me. Grandchildren are an entirely new level of family member, kind of like that white Lab you got a long time ago as a puppy, but they can hug you, laugh, and look you straight in the eye and right into your soul.
I am close to my family. I love them all and they have been very supportive of my 45-year journey as an entrepreneur, which I now understand in hindsight to be one of the most self-centered and indulgent paths one can choose in life, particularly with a young family. In many ways, an entrepreneur shares the narcissism of an artist, which can often be insufferable. Sometimes we chose our paths. Other times our paths chose us. A wise man once said, “When something good is in front of you, take it”. But how do we ever really know?
More recently, I have also become a lot more observant religiously and this has presented additional and somewhat different challenges with my family. Now, certain restrictions on my diet and activity have made family get-togethers a bit (or, depending upon who you are talking to, a lot) more complicated than they once were. But a family is like a river. For it to be healthy, it must be flowing, and that means constant change. One way or another, in families and in life, change is inevitable.
For all the journeys in my life, the starting point has always been family. I am the only one of my siblings who left the area where we grew up, first moving to North Carolina, and then more recently to Dallas. Was I escaping? Looking to chart my own path? Simply pursuing an opportunity?
The answer to this is probably “all of the above”. When I am at my worst, generally after an ego-inflating fleeting short term success, or a tough conversation with a family member, I forget that I would never have had the courage or strength to embark out on my own without the bravery that a loving and supportive family can give you. It is only when I remember this that a better version of me reappears.
I have tried hard, both consciously and intuitively, to create a similarly supportive family environment in Queensboro. While the tenure of our team is impressive, many have left to pursue other dreams and opportunities, surprisingly often with each other, both professionally and personally. Great friendships have been formed that have spanned decades. People have stayed close and now live far away from each other.
Keeping a business afloat for 45 years is a great accomplishment. I am just as proud, however, of having been able to create an environment that has been equally nurturing, challenging, and fun – all the ingredients of a great family!
The Queensboro river has flowed, sometimes more calmly than others. On our best and worst days, I think of my own family. I think of how even when I am half a continent away from most of them, they are still with me, even those no longer living.
I think the analogy of a sleeping baby is a good one. In its most restful phase, nothing is more comforting. On a tough night, however, nothing else in the world exists. When a baby’s sleep is good, life is good. When it is challenging, so is life.
So far Mila has been a good sleeper except for when she hasn’t been. I’m very grateful that I have been there to comfort her on some of those more difficult nights.